Dear Chaz,
I'm writing to you concerning your recent attempt to pick me at the bar, as your receding hairline and immediate verbal diarrhea about your 'bitch ex-wife' were not attractive. Persistent as you were, disclosing the contents of your bank account and divulging that that was 'your fat daddy Mercedes in the parking lot' did not help your cause. Guess what asshole? Like most women, I am repulsed by your lackadaisical, used car salesman attitude...and no, I do not like to have multiple orgasms. Didn't you just tell me I looked like your daughter?! WOW! I wonder if she knows her old man is skeezing on girls half his age and totally out of his league?
Why did you think it was appropriate to stalk me outside the WOMEN'S bathroom to ask for my phone number? However, in an attempt to escape your clutches, yes, I did give you the fax number to my former employer. I do not appreciate you blatantly eye fucking me in front of the entire bar, as this is somewhat of a classy joint. I immediately went home and showered after the violation. Take your freak show shriveled up old man balls, and get your eyes back into your skull and off my ass!
Again, I formally decline any offer to dinner, coffee, and especially a drink, but thank you for the invitation :)
PS, you dropped your packet of Rohypnol at the high top table next to us.
Sincerely,
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